Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
