I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
