hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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