The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize