You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
