Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize