just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Randomize
