I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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