He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
