I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I think I sprained my soul last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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