There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
