My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
