I think my fart just growled at me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
