goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
