dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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