Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy

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