apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
