We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
