so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize