Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
