what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
