i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
