I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
