dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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