If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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