is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I smell like Dick and happiness
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
