bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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