My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
