Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
