Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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