someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
