margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
