I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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