how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
