I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How does one acquire holy water?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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