im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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