Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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