So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
