I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
