Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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