You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Congratulations! We have a period
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