Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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