that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
