I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Dick very happy bro
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
