he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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