On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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