I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
