My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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