You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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