So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
