I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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