Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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