it's too hot outside to masturbate.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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