Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she smelled like a LAN party
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And then my night got REAL pukey
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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