be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
