Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
This house was built for laser tag.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
