508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize