This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
