i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
