So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You're earring is so big in my mouth
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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