i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
